Excerpt 005: The Dead and the Gone

[rekindledtitan]

TYPE: Personal log

LOCATION: Nexus

PARTIES: Three [3]. One [1] Ghost-type, One [1] [UNCONFIRMED], designate Marshall, Brynhild [rekindledtitan], One [1] Unconfirmed, designate Jesse [notalldead]



ASSOCIATIONS: Multiversal Nexus; Jesse; the Rotten; Multiversal Phenomena; Blaze-37; Revivification; Bryn Marshall; Deep Stone Crypt; Golden Age; Clovis Bray


It’s well past the twenty-four-hour mark after Bryn assumed the place of her Exo counterpart (or descendant, if one wanted to look at it that way). Though a little more used to her company, Ghost is starting to feel anxious again. He expected to have his Guardian back by now, and her absence (albeit partial) is distressing on a very fundamental level. He communicates nothing to Bryn, of course: it would serve no purpose and quite possibly insult her.

On the bright side, he’s made it through twenty-four hours with only minor bruises for his human companion, and with a little medical attention she’s mostly recovered from the effects of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster she drank last night. That’s better than he can claim for Blaze, most days.

So now they’re strolling through one of the Nexus markets, one Ghost and one young blonde in a borrowed leather jacket. The little bot is not-coincidentally leading her along one of Blaze’s usual patrol routes. He has a faint hope he can jog her memory with familiar stimuli. Either way, Bryn’s happy to check out the stalls and their wares, peculiar and mundane… and sometimes mundane things that just seem peculiar to a Golden Age colony girl. It’s everything Ghost can do not to get left behind when she makes another sharp turn and beelines for the next thing to catch her curiosity.

Comments

[rekindledtitan]

Bryn is more inclined to keep her feelings to herself than Blaze is. On the other hand, she doesn't have a nearly-immobile Exo face to make that easier, so there's visible dismay in the look she gives Jesse. She's a tactile kind of person; she can't imagine what it's like to feel you have to avoid touching other people. Even the ones you care about...

Jesse seems like he's not going to let it bother him, though, so she bites back the words. And it occurs to her after a minute that he can at least get a hug from the other members of his gang, right? He's not all that alone, just like he says. And then there's the Nexus...

"Really?" She tucks her hair behind her ear, finding her smile again. More than the compliment itself, it makes her feel a lot better to think that she is - will be - doing something to help. "That's really kind of you to say. I'm starting to see how you ended up with a whole gang behind you."

[notalldead]

"Aw shoot, ain't nothin'. My gang are the real stars. Got a real bad hand an' still keepin' positive and goin' forward. Not a peep o' complaints neither. I consider myself lucky that I get to lead 'em, honestly, an' that they trust me enough to lemme do it!

"You got to meet 'em once. Well, kinda. They're a lil shy most of the time, but when I first met y'all, you were nice enough to come on down to the subway and trick out our generators. All of 'em run like a dream now an' we're always gonna be real grateful for that."

[rekindledtitan]

Bryn's smile takes a wistful turn as she listens, one corner of her mouth twisting a little. "It's so strange, hearing you tell me I did that and not... not knowing anything about it. I barely even know what a generator looks like. But... thank you. It's kind of a comfort to know I'm - I will be? - doing some good after all this. Helping people, exploring the frontier- I suppose that's all I really wanted when I joined up." That and her Plan. But if she got everything that's important, she shouldn't complain, right? No more than Jesse's people do.

"...It's probably too early to get a drink, but I think I owe you one after all that." Also she needs one- don't give her that look Ghost, she's almost totally recovered from that Gargleblaster yesterday. It's not her fault you need alcohol for this place to make sense. Wait. "Uh. Assuming you drink, I mean."

[notalldead]

"Hah! Drinkin' is prolly what I'm best at, if we're gonna be honest. Might as well take advantage of it now while you can too." Wow, now that he said it out loud, that was kind of rude. Or depressing. Or ignorant? Metal Blaze can't drink, can she? He avoids eye contact with Ghost in case he's getting a weird look for that statement.

Actually, now that Jesse's thinking about it as well, it's starting to worry him too. What happened to Blaze between how she is now and how she'll become? Was she transformed? Uploaded into a new body? What if it's some kind of insane metal virus that she was infected with? Who knows what goes on in other worlds, man.

"You know if what you've got now has a timer on it or anything?" He tries to ask as gently as possible. "Sometimes when people get switched up like this by Nexus horseplay, there can be a, uh. Like a shelf life. Wear off eventually."

[rekindledtitan]

She lets out a little snort, clearly of a mind to take the remark in the spirit it's intended. Even if it's a slightly desperate kind of humor. You either laugh or you- well, best leave it at laughing. "Yeah, I suppose I really should."

"I think you should try eating an actual meal instead," Ghost says, preoccupied with slightly different concerns. He shoots Jesse an urgent, fluttering look - back him up here, please!

As for Jesse's question... Bryn's gaze drops for a moment before she nods. Looks at the little bot beside her. "Ghost said these... situations normally last only a couple of days at the outside. "And it's been... well, I'm not sure about the day-night cycle here, but it feels like nearly a full day. So- so this could be over any time." She draws a deep breath and tries not to think about what the hell that's going to be like. It's not a death sentence. It's not.

[notalldead]

"Yeah, this place ain't much for daylight and nighttime workin' on a schedule. Stuff just kinda drops when it durn feels like. But goin' by hours is usually foolproof. And...yeah. Yeah, I guess just keep yer chin up and don't worry about when the time comes. I mean, it ain't that bad, is it? You're still gonna be a swell person and a fine friend. And maybe then we can figure out s'more of what happened to you. To make y'all-...Well, y'know."

Though Jesse feels like a hypocrite already for saying that. Here he is, the leader of a gang that has the singular goal of regaining humanity. And now he's telling someone he considers a close friend that her losing it won't be so bad. Man, he's the worst.

Jesse, instead of voicing that and only adding to the anxiety surrounding the fact, agrees with Ghost instead. Always follow Ghost's lead to get out of sad or awkward realities! "Though, yeah, tuckin' in a meal while y'all go the chance is a great idea too. There's a place down the way that does a mean breakfast all day. Nothin' like steak 'n eggs, in my humble opinion."

[rekindledtitan]

Bryn nods, unsure what to say but figuring he's right. It's harder to convince her gut but honestly, she thinks it'd take a lot longer than she's go to work through all her feelings about this.

"I guess there's no point in dwelling on it, right?" Her determined cheer turns a little more genuine - and more wry - when she glances sideways at Ghost. "All right, I get the message." Really, does he nanny her robot self this much? Either way, the amused feeling helps lighten some of her tension. Enough to give Jesse a smile and a helpless shrug. "Lead the way. I've definitely never tried steak for breakfast but- well, I feel like I should give just about anything a try today."

...The food where she's from is different. Don't judge her too harshly.

[notalldead]

"Steak is good enough to be any meal, iffen y'all ask me! C'mon, it's just a few blocks thisaway." Jesse gestures to follow as he saunters in the right direction, wearing a bright smile. He loves showing people new, good things!

Though once they get walking, curiosity about Blaze/Bryn's situation starts to gnaw. Wondering about the particulars and the lost bits of information about who Blaze was before she was Blaze. So he can't help but eventually turning and asking carefully, "So, uh. How old are y'all right now, by yer watch? Got any family?" Well, HAD any family. But let's just talk about things from Bryn's perspective, not his or Ghost's. No more reason to rattle the cage of inevitable loss, right? Let the prospect of breakfast for lunch keep you positive!

[rekindledtitan]

She can't help giving a little laugh at his enthusiasm. You know a guy's from Earth when he loves steak that much. It's the kind of thing you hear a lot from new arrivals in the Sink...

For all her intentions, it's hard to stop her thoughts circling back to home as they walk. Jesse's question doesn't come as all that jarring to her. "Um, the last time I checked? I'm twenty-four. I only- only left home to try and join up about a week ago. I don't have any sisters or brothers, just my parents back on Venus. And a whole bunch of cousins and grandparents and great.... great great grandparents on Earth." Kind of hard to try and joke about that, now. Sticking to the present tense, though? That's a very good idea. She'll try.

"I've only been to Earth a couple of times, but I figure- figured I'd see a lot more of it soon. You, uh, you said you're from Seattle? That's... Nnnnorth America, right?"

[notalldead]

"Venus? What the goldarn heck?" Jesse even stops walking, so taken aback by that tidbit of info. "Now, I ain't a science learned man; I leave that t'Mitchell, my engineer in the gang. But ain't Venus, like...All covered up with poison gas or somethin'? Pretty sure I read that in a book once." He hurries to add, though, "I ain't doubting y'all! I just gotta wonder what the heck yer people did to figure out livin' there iffen that's the case." He's soon walking again now, shaking his head in amazement. "Venus. Shoot."

Jesse nods when asked about Seattle. "Yeah! West coast North America. In a state called Washington. Pretty nice place. Google the Space Needle sometime iffen y'all wanna see somethin' cool from that neck o' the woods. Is Google still a thing where yer from? It was this computer thing that searched the internet fer what you were after. Like I said, I ain't science-minded, so that's probably a bad description. But yeah!"

The cowboy suddenly has a surge of self-consciousness, certain he's talking too much. He coughs lightly into a fist. "Found out I actually am from Calgary thanks to the Nexus, but I don't remember a whole lotta that. That's up in Canada instead. Who knows what I was doin' in Seattle when the zed hit."

[rekindledtitan]

"It was." Bryn stops when he does and turns to look back at him; she's smiling at his surprise even though, really, it makes sense. "Did- did Ghost ever tell you about the Traveler? It's an alien that came to our system a couple of hundred years ago. It changed Venus into a place where humans could live. Fixed the atmosphere, put the oceans back... even seeded it with new life. It's covered in jungles there, now... and a few volcanoes. Okay, a lot of volcanoes. But they don't erupt very much."

Bryn loves her homeworld; it brings a warmth to her voice that doesn't quite fade when she comes back to the present. "I've read about Google, sure." They love social history around the Ishtar Academy. "And a Space Needle definitely sounds like my kind of thing..."

She's trying to put some enthusiasm into it, encouraging him to share, but that last part quietens her. She shoots him a sidelong glance. "So you... you don't remember much from before, either?"

[notalldead]

Jesse shakes his head with a sigh. "Little shreds here'n there. But nothin' big. Nothin' longer 'n a snippet. An image. A face. A place. A voice." He pauses, reaching up to adjust his hat. "Same thing that tol' me about Calgary? Showed me a memory from before when I still had a pulse and weren't so green. I was talkin' on the phone to a guy. My brother, apparently. An' I was-...Well, I had a real burr in my haunches over whatever he was tellin' me. Somethin' about wantin' me to travel someplace I didn't want to. Real kick in the pants that the one memory I got back with any sorta clarity was one so nasty, huh. But hey! Better'n nothin'."

As he keeps walking, Jesse's hands slip into the pockets of his duster. "But I guess that's one way to look at the situation y'all are presently in. Just gettin' a chance to remember. An' I hope to high heaven y'get to remember too. Maybe y'should record some stuff with Ghost, give him some records or files, just t'make sure. Cuz the future bein' unknown is a given. But lookin' back at yer trail and seein' it's been washed out completely... Makes y'feel kinda stranded. Lonely. Eggheads are big on history for a reason, right?" He gives Bryn a lopsided smile.

[rekindledtitan]

Bryn's sympathetic concern is written all over her face as she listens, with every little glance she sends Jesse's way. "I'm sorry. I'd hate if some row was the only thing I remembered about my family..."

She broods over it for a minute. "...But you're right. Not remembering them at all would be worse. I don't... I don't want to forget them, or my home, or... being me." Doesn't want to end up in the place Jesse's describing. She's never felt alone or disconnected in her life before and she doesn't want to. Hates the idea of Jesse having to feel like that.

She's afraid of ending up there. Afraid she already has. But determination colors her voice. If there is anything she can do, she'll do it.

"I can- I can leave a message, just in case." She looks to Ghost, the little bot blinking at her. "Tell you everything I can think of, so you'll... I'll have at least that much to go on."

"It's a good idea..." It really is. Though Ghost sounds uncertain as he looks between them. Bryn doesn't pay it any mind. She's nodding, frowning in fierce thought.