Excerpt 003: Ship’s Cradle

[rekindledtitan]

TYPE: Personal log

LOCATION: Orbit, Earth

PARTIES: Three [3]. One [1] Ghost-type, [1] Guardian-type, designate Blaze-37, Class Titan [rekindledtitan], One [1] Unconfirmed, designate Hughes, Maes [bestdadinamestris]


ASSOCIATIONS: Multiversal Nexus; Maes Hughes; Earth; Multiversal Phenomena; Blaze-37; Amestris; Dr. Hill; Deep Stone Crypt; [REDACTED]




Blaze should have figured the warning signs for what they were. When the senses slow and the body insists on sinking into the nearest furniture, it ought to be a clue. But she has no memory of fatigue, no sense of whether her body is just complaining or injured or seriously needs to rest. So it’s not until their meeting at the Harp sees her stuffed with food and forced to actually sit down for a while that the torpor kicks in.

She’d like to shake it off, but the more level (and more inorganic) heads around her are able to point out that that’s not how human biology works.

She’s yawning uncontrollably when they materialize aboard her one-room jumpship. It wakes up for them with a soft hum, lights revealing a cabin just big enough for both she and Hughes to move around. Every inch of the clean metal plating looks like it’s part of some compartment or pull-out section, and that includes the floor. To sharp Exo senses it might look a bit patchwork, too: different panels have subtly different finishes; signs of repair are everywhere. There’s little sign of home comforts: just one cushy pilot’s chair, Blaze’s helmet clipped alongside it.

“I’m… going to power up the life-support systems,” the Ghost says, swooping over to the controls.

Blaze tries to talk through her next yawn. “Oh… yyyeah. Good thinking. Uh.” She looks up at Hughes and waves a hand toward the star-speckled view up front. “Welcome to Earth orbit.”

Comments

[rekindledtitan]

Blaze grunts in a way that says she still doesn’t get it. But also she’s taking the chance to shovel that hash brown into her mouth. Here’s hoping her next lesson isn’t ‘the joys of indigestion’.

“What about them? Doesn’t bother them when you’re off in the field? When you’re up against that risk?” Keep talking, Hughes. She has no idea about any of this stuff. “Besides, seems to me family’s a whole distraction on its own.” What's the jam supposed to be for? Doesn't go too well with the eggs, she's figured that out anyway.

[bestdadinamestris]

Hughes made sure to order things that wouldn't cause Blaze any discomfort. He knows his own body well enough to avoid all the worst things for her.

"They don't like it, and my daughter may not understand what's going on, but my wife does. She knows when the fight's important, understands why I do what I do. If I were to stop for any reason, she'd tell me to pick myself back up and keep going." He chuckles softly. "She's as determined and stubborn about things as I am, and about me most of all. There's no way she'd let me stop unless I was physically unable to keep going. Even then, she'd have a hell of a time getting me to stand down."

Hmm, that buzz seems to be fading already. Time for another powerpack. One more can't hurt, right? "Honestly, having my family be a distraction for me is a good thing. I remember to go home, to take time to enjoy life outside of work. It's important, with all of the crazy things happening in my life, to remind myself why I do what I do by spending time with my family."

[rekindledtitan]

“Sounds like a woman I’d like to know. Military too?” Blaze has her own ideas of what’s good for both of them right now, and she looks quite approving as Hughes calls for another powerpack. “Guess I’ll have to take your word on the rest.”

She’s quiet for a minute or two, frowning intensely. She’s running short on stuff to talk about that isn’t awful: her head’s too full of things she doesn’t understand or want. It occurs to her that she ought to apologize for last night and without thinking she adds, “Sorry if I, uh, yelled last night.”

Only once it’s said does it occur to her that's too close to one of the subjects she’s trying to avoid. (Too damn many of those, part of her thinks irritably.) Should have saved that for a more opportune time. But- Light, it’s said now, she ought to say it sometime. It’s not going to get more comfortable three hours from now. And maybe this isn’t so bad. Hughes can’t fault her for not talking unnecessarily when she’s busy cramming her mouth with half the day’s nutritional requirement.

[bestdadinamestris]

"No, not military." Like Hughes would let Gracia near the mess he finds himself in. "She stays at home with our daughter. I... don't know what I'd do without her. Without her help, our household would fall apart. She tracks bills, does most of the chores, does all the hard parts of raising our daughter, and still manages to make it all look easy. I admit that she's my everything. ...well, she and my daughter both, but I don't rightly know what I'd do without them outside of continuing the fight."

Is it easy to tell that he's beaming somewhere in that Exo body he's currently residing in? He's used to talking about his family with others, used to telling them about the cute things his daughter is doing or the way his wife looked so beautiful when he left the house that day, but this? This is different. And it's wonderful.

Hughes is vaguely concerned by the change in subject, but he takes a moment to think after the words are out there. After dipping into the next powerpack, he speaks. "You sure everything's okay? I'm not upset about what happened, but I am worried. What's going on in that head of yours? Do you want to talk about it?" The answer to that last question is obvious, but it needs to be asked anyway.

[rekindledtitan]

“What’s her name?” She has to ask. He’s so happy when he speaks of his family. It’s obvious to Blaze, knowing the signs: the exact way his optics flare, the affection and pride in his voice… it’s almost visible, the way he brightens up.

Weird as hell to hear in her own voice, though.

She should have asked him about this to begin with, she thinks. Should have known…

His questions bring a shrug as she puts away another hash brown. The food’s keeping up its end; it buys her time before she has to answer. “Not much to talk about. Think my systems are just off. Not used to the way this body responds.”

She notices the way her Ghost is looking at her and swallows to insist, “There’s nothing worth worrying over.”

[bestdadinamestris]

"Gracia. Our daughter's name is Elicia." More beaming. He's just so damn happy about having them in his life.

"Bullshit." Hughes knows his own tells well enough to see Blaze use them. The use of the food in front of her to have an extra moment to think. Not meeting Hughes' gaze unless absolutely necessary. Slight changes in breathing pattern. Sorry, Blaze, but there's no way around this now that you've brought it up. "If it bothers you, it's worth worrying about. Now come on. Tell me."

[rekindledtitan]

“Hmm.” She nods; she’ll remember the names. His love for them is something to see. Really is the kind of thing they’re out there to protect. Except Hughes is out in the line of fire, too. That’s… still something she’s glad to avoid with her brethren. She knows war and its costs very well. But it’s been a long time since she could put a name to anyone in Hughes’ position.

Her head snaps up when Hughes calls her out, staring at him fiercely. But she doesn’t deny it. Can't, really.

“Worrying isn’t going to fix anything, Hughes,” she points out. Still, she’s stopped shoveling food into her mouth; she lays down knife and fork for a while.

“Exos used to get rebooted once in a while,” she says quietly. “Reset, memories wiped. Happened to everyone at least once. That’s why we don’t remember our origins. I wind up mentioning that to most people here. Thing is – they didn’t wipe everything. Stuff gets left behind. Fragments. Trace memories.” She wishes she had a power pack right now. It’d make talking easier. She sighs wearily.

“Like I told you earlier, the reincarnation process – getting remade mind and body – that stirs things up, rearranges them. Does funny stuff to your head sometimes. And I estimate I’ve been through about three dozen reboots. That makes for a lot of clutter. So I don’t honestly know what’s going on in here, but I am sure it’s meshing pretty badly with human senses.” It’s the only sensible explanation for what she experienced earlier. New sensations contaminating the old.

[bestdadinamestris]

Hughes nods along quietly as Blaze explains. Memory wipes, fragmented memories... it's the kind of burden you don't know how to sympathize with unless you've been through it personally. It also sounds like the kind of thing that could break a person if they don't find a way to come to terms with it fast.

"I can see new senses dealing with the changes poorly, but you're telling me this happens no matter what body you're in?" Talk about not being ideal. He frowns internally. "Anything I can do to help?"

[rekindledtitan]

"They're my memories... kinda. Guess they come with me." Things have felt a little different, but that aspect definitely hasn't gone entirely.

"Isn't anything to do. That's why I don't talk about it. Just got to handle it like I always do." She picks up the fork and stabs the scone experimentally. "We get back to our own bodies and it'll be easier."

[bestdadinamestris]

"These... memories - they're what you dream about?" It's a logical assumption to make, given the way Blaze is trying to avoid the subject. He pauses for a moment, thinking through everything they've talked about. "Is there a way to try to piece them together?"

[rekindledtitan]

"Basically." A short nod. A lie. Not wholly a lie, though, and better than leaving him wondering. What she's told him is just uncomfortable; the rest is knowledge that shouldn't be shared. She starts dicing up the scone, although that doesn't work as well as for the less crumbly food items.

"If there was, someone else would've figured it out. Other Exos have spent years on this stuff, Hughes. Centuries, trying to figure out how we work and what's in our heads. The things they've tried- I don't want to waste my time the same way. Got too much to do."

[bestdadinamestris]

"So you're saying we should find a way to get back to our own bodies now that you've mostly finished breakfast, right?" The light teasing is his attempt at relieving some of the tension in the air and getting them focused on the real reason for coming back to the Nexus. He's eager to get back to his own body, to give Dr. Hill a piece of his mind, and then go home. He hopes he can swing a sick day to spend some extra time with his family after all of this is over...

[rekindledtitan]

"Shoulda found it at the start," is her opinion. Gruffly delivered as it is, at least she's happy to take the offered opening to get back to the important matter here. She gets back to plowing through the food with a will, ensuring that they won't be delayed for much longer.

"So," she says between mouthfuls, "which tactic are we going with? Finding Hill or... this empathy thing?"

"We haven't had a response from our Warlocks. I'm afraid they may be out on a field mission."

[bestdadinamestris]

"So... empathy, huh?" Hughes sits back in his chair and sighs. "The hell is that supposed to mean anyway? I'm pretty sure you and I have understood each other pretty well from the start."

Unless it's about more than simple understanding. In which case he has no clue what to do. They've certainly walked more than a few miles in each other's literal shoes... what more does the doctor want from them?

[rekindledtitan]

"Seems like we've seen more of each other already than we ever would otherwise." Would Blaze normally let anyone bar her Ghost see half the things Hughes has (knowingly or not)? She'd rather not have to see them herself, honestly.

"Tried out everything I can, right?" She's thinking out loud while she munches the scone. "Eating, sleeping, getting hurt, getting cold, getting emotional. Don't know how you focus with all that going on in here, but that's a whole other matter."

[bestdadinamestris]

"Sounds like you could use a drink." It has been a stressful time for both of them. And if Hughes can drink in her body, Blaze can certainly have one in his. He orders a whiskey on the rocks for her from a passing waiter for her and another powerpack for him.

"Hope it's not too much for you," he adds in the most snarky voice he can manage.

[rekindledtitan]

"It's one little drink, Hughes." She snorts (that, at least, she has the hang of). Drinking has so far been easier than eating.

Watch her end up coughing when it arrives and she tries to knock it back in one go.

[bestdadinamestris]

"It's a little stronger than you might think." But he'll let her decide that for herself.

When the drinks arrive, Hughes raises his in a toast. "To getting back to normal." And then back it goes all in one shot to keep that nice buzz going.

[rekindledtitan]

"Getting back in the fight," Blaze adds, lifting her glass. A moment later, of course, she slams her glass down on the table and leans over it, coughing.

"I take it that really is strong," the Ghost observes helpfully, swooping in to check on her. She gives it a look, still clearing her throat.

"Yeah, well- that was new."

[bestdadinamestris]

It's a good thing Hughes can't choke on his drink or he would have. He should be more worried about the fact that she could've choked on the ice, but he can't stop laughing. That reaction was simply amazing.

"Care for another?" he asks when he's regained his composure. "I've still got half of my drink left." Only because he had to stop drinking when he started laughing.

[rekindledtitan]

Blaze grabs a napkin to wipe her mouth, shaking her head at his laughter. Oh, well. Must have looked pretty silly.

"Sure. I can handle it." From that look, she's taking it as a challenge. She'll defeat all your whiskeys in single combat! Before Right after breakfast!

"I hope your body can handle it, Hughes..."

[bestdadinamestris]

It does look silly. Whiskey is a sipping drink! ...well, good whiskey is, anyway. He can't vouch for what the Harp has.

"All right then..." Hughes orders another whiskey - neat, this time, since Blaze intends to slam it - before turning to Ghost. "With some water and the intention of not doing anything, it'll be fine. Hell, on top of that breakfast? I don't think it'll be an issue at all." Oh how much he'll regret saying that in a few hours when he has his body back...

After the ordered drink arrives, Hughes raises his in challenge. And then he'll throw the last of it back without a second thought. Yup, today will be a fun, buzz-fueled day.

[rekindledtitan]

"I... hope not."

"Relax, Ghost. Hughes knows this stuff." Blaze has probably heard of sipping, but it's safe to assume she thinks it's for other people. She's better prepared for the drink this time, and... at least doesn't wind up spluttering, even if she pulls a wince.

"See? Not so hard." She gives Hughes an actual grin before pulling a bit of a face at the taste. "That the worst you've got?"

"I really hope you know what you're doing..." the Ghost mutters.

One more drink leads to another, and the little bot's fears mightn't be so unfounded. Once Blaze starts to relax for the first time in this new body, trading jibes with Hughes... it's also not long before her head starts swimming in a whole different way. Her laughter slows down to a chuckle, and then a puzzled look at her glass while she tries to remember what they were laughing about. Right before the table seems to be coming closer...

The Ghost jumps, flicking its gaze between them as Hughes also slumps over the table. It zips around them, trying to rouse either. But it also refuses to let the staff disturb them, checking and rechecking its readings hopefully while it waits...

[bestdadinamestris]

The first thing Hughes notices when he comes to is how much everything hurts. His back, his arms, his head... He doesn't remember it hurting this badly a minute ago.

But... hang on a second. Why does everything hurt? In Blaze's body, he lacked a whole set of sensations that he was used to, but now they're all back. Which could mean only one thing.

His eyes shoot open and he sits upright in his chair, causing it to rock underneath him. After taking a moment to steady himself, he rests his hands on the table and tries to focus on, well, anything. Seems those drinks are catching up to him more than he expected. When he's able to focus on his hands, though, he laughs excitedly. They're his hands!

"Blaze." Ow, his throat is raw, too. Lack of sleep and drinking will do that, though. He tries again, pushing a little harder on his vocal cords. "Blaze. Wake up." She needs to enjoy this moment as much as he does, though he might suggest skipping the victory drinks.

[rekindledtitan]

"Hughes? That is you, isn't it?" The Ghost hovers down to scan him, then flits excitedly back to Blaze's sluggishly stirring form.

You can tell when she heeds Hughes's voice: she shoves herself up from the table, head snapping left and right as she gets her bearings.

"What? Hughes? Ghost?" Wait that was his voice. And this is her voice- oh! "Thank Light!" She straightens up and looks down at herself, hands flexing, downright giddy. "It's about damn time!"

She feels so much stronger, so much easier already! Another second and she's out of her seat and hauling Hughes up for a victory dance. "Don't know how we did it, but I'm not gonna complain!"