Last spark from the ashes

"Feels numb, mostly. Real numb. You wouldn't think you'd miss feelin' pain, but you do, kinda. Somethin' weird about having a toe just fall offa ya and you didn't even feel it. Didn't even know it were comin' loose. Feels real still too. No pulse. No breathin' unless you do it on purpose. Can't cry, no matter how sad or happy or mad yer feelin'. Just don't happen and it's one of those things that you don't even think about missin' until you can't do it no more.

"And knowin' that yer not-...Yer never gonna age right. Maybe someday all us Rotten'll break down and fall apart and that'll be the end of it. Or maybe we'll just keep goin' and goin' until less natural causes put us down. Seems okay if yer someone like me, already in the prime of my adulthood. But we got kids like little Julie. She ain't ever gonna stop bein' a 10 year old. She ain't ever gonna grow up into a woman and meet someone and get married or have babies or nothin'."

Jesse shifts in his chair, pulling one long leg up to hug an arm around his shin. "An' just knowin' we're somethin'...unnatural? Cuz that's the way it is, the way it's supposed t'be. Things are born, then they live, then they die. And that's just how it goes. And now here's us Rotten and even the zed, somehow outside o' all that. We're outta place, not just among other people, but nature itself! Sometimes if I didn't keep tellin' my people we're just folks with a disease, I dunno what-..."

As if only now realizing he's kind of rambling about grim things, Jesse shakes his head and tries to smile. "Well, at least I know we can hibernate when we get real cold, right? That's somethin' new too."